Calling You Home
by littledirewolf
Summary: Dis never wanted to let Kili go with his uncle and brother on the quest for Erebor.


Dis never wanted Kili to follow his brother and uncle on the quest for Erebor. He was still so young, her little baby, even though he's glare at her if she ever said that out loud. Fili was the heir to the throne. He was a strong, young warrior, and while he still got into trouble and caused mischief with his younger brother, he was mature enough for this. A future king should have seen battle, should be able to protect his people. Surely a quest like this would give him that experience. Just not too much, she prayed. When Thorin had asked to bring her oldest son with him, she had said yes, despite the ache in her heart. But she had outright refused to let him bring Kili along.

"You will not take both my children! Kili will stay _here_. With me. Where I can keep an eye on him. He's not ready for such a thing, brother! No, I will not let you!" Dis cried.

"He is ready." Thorin had answered with a low voice. His rough hands were placed on her shoulders. "He is a skilled fighter. His reflexes are quick, and you know how good he is with the bow."

Dis smiled, despite how scared she felt at the moment. She thought back to the first time Kili had picked up that bow when he and his brother were training, many years ago. "He has come a long way since shooting Dwalin in the arse." She said with a grim smile, and Thorin chuckled.

"Exactly, sister! I need his skills, and young, sharp eyes on this quest."

"I'm sure you can find somebody else that can shoot an arrow. I am letting you bring Fili, because Erebor is one day going to be his. But Kili does not have those kind on responsibilities. He's staying in the Blue Mountains."

"He's not a helpless little dwarfling who hides behind your skirt anymore, Dis."

"Don't you think I know that?!"

"He wants to come. I will look after them both."

"Oh you will? And when a pack of orchs attack? Will you run to their defense instead of protecting yourself? _Fili_ looks after Kili, not you! No, Thorin. If you were to protect them, you would not bring them to kill a fire drake! My word is final, Kili is staying here. You are not putting both my children in danger."

–-

Thorin had told Kili during supper that he was not allowed to join them on the journey. Dis stood her ground when her sons started to beg and yell. Kili ran off with his bow in a fit of rage a moment later, and Thorin had followed him, while Fili stayed in his chair.

"Mother, please let him come."

"No, Fili. You do not understand how scared it makes me, knowing you will be off to _kill a dragon_. I could not deal with Kili joining you. He's too young still. I can't let him go yet."

"There is no need for you to be scared, you know I woud never let any harm come to him. He needs to do this, ma! _I_ need him there with me when we look upon Erebor for the first time."

"Fili!" Dis said in a harsher tone. "I will not change my mind! You will stop talking about it, and tell your brother to accept it."

"He will never forgive you."

"Perhaps not." Dis looked away from her oldest son. "But at least he will be safe. "

–-

Thorin came back an hour or two later, alone. Kili was still outside, angry at her and his uncle for not letting him go. "He's at the training ground. He will be back soon, just let him calm down." He walked over to his sister, who was still sitting at her spot at the table, and leaned down to kiss her temple, before crouching down next to her. "I am sorry about this, Dis."

"Thorin Oakenshield is sorry? Is the sun shining out of Dori's toilet too?"

"I mean it, sister. I did not intend for this to happen. For the boys to be angry at you."

Dis looked up at him. "Of course not, Thorin. You thought I would happily let you bring both my sons on quest that might take them both from me."

Thorin stood up. "Are you more afraid to lose Kili, than you are of losing Fili?"

Dis stood back up so fast that her chair fell. "How dare you, Thorin Oakenshield? How _dare_ you?! Fili and Kili has always protected each other, if one calls the other will come running. I'm scared what they might do to protect the other, _like Frerin did for you_!" Thorin looked like he had had his breath punched out of him as Dis mentioned their deceased brother. "_Leave_." She said and turned back to pick up her chair and sit down again. Thorin walked away without a word, and she was alone.

Dis sat in the kitchen until Kili came home late that night. Fili and Thorin had already gone to bed, but Dis wanted to wait until she could talk to her youngest, make him understand. The door opened and Kili stepped in. He took off his boots, and right before walking off to his room, he spotted Dis in the kitchen. She held her sons eyes, and Kili sighed, "Mum.." He sat down next to her at the table. "I'm sorry I stormed out.."

"I know you are angry with me, Kili. But try to understand."

"You're worried, I know, and I understand that. But you don't have to worry, I'll be fine!"

"You can't know that."

"Yes, I can, mum! I've been training just as hard as Fili! I know I'm not as good with the sword as he is, but I'm still better than most!"

"I know, sweetheart." She grabbed his hand. "I know how good of a fighter you are. But this is not training, this is the real world. There will be battles, and something might happen that is out of your control. I do not want you to have that kind of blood on your hands at this age. It changes a person, Kili."

"And _you_ don't know that is going to happen! Maybe there won't be any big dangers. I won't know unless I go! Why can't you trust me, ma?" His eyes were wide and pleading. "I need to go with them, I have to! If something were to happen to Fili and I wasn't there, it would kill me!" There was a desperation in his voice.

"I need to protect them. Thorin is a king, and Fili is the heir, he is my brother. I want to be there to make sure nothing happens to him. To make sure nothing happens."

Dis felt like crying. He was so brave, and so desperate to be with his brother. Her little boy was ready to give his life for his uncle and brother. "Kili, please stop." She did not say more in fear of breaking out in tears.

"We have always done everything together, we work together, hunt together, train together. We _fight_ together. Why would you not let me go with him on the biggest adventure of out lives?"

"It's not what I mean to do! You are reckless, you are not ready for something like this!"

"How would you know what I am ready for or not? You are not there when we train! Both Thorin and Dwalin says I am ready. Uncle believes I could be valuable for the company, everybody believes in me but you!"

A tear fell from her eye, and she put her arms around her son and cradled him close to her. "I believe in you." She said with a whisper.

"You have to let me go with them, mum please."

Dis sobbed, and hugged him harder. "You have to promise you will come back to me."

Kili was quiet for a moment, he took a shaky breath. "I promise, mom. I promise I will come back." He buried his face in her shoulder, and they just sat there for a while. Dis needed to reassure herself that she had made the right choice. Thorin would reclaim Erebor. And when she traveled there, her boys would be waiting on her, smiling, looking healthy. And they would embrace her, telling her great stories from their adventure.

Yes, Kili would return to her. They both would.


End file.
